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[ website | The Strand Venice ]
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(~Light one up~)

Wow? [23 May 2005|07:57am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

167th chorus
by Jack Kerouac

The details are all the same
Like honey stored in bee hives
Like atonic power, so many
Atoms, the details per
Square inchare the life of it
And the death of it
The critical mass collapses
And like a tumbled Sand castle
When the tide of disintegration
And its conception rise,
Flops into the sea softmaw
Sand salvaging, bells
Toll is not offshore.
The Castly was a Dream.
Now learn
that the water is a dream
For when the Tide of Disaster
Rises water will disintegrate
And all will be left
Is the Successful Savior
Abiding Everywhere in
Beginningless Ecstatic Nobody

*this is the guy that inspired Jim Morrison's poetry*


(1smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

[13 May 2005|03:51pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Your First

They say your first love
will always be in your heart
even years from now
when your far apart

you'll remember his voice
you'll remember his name
a love like your first
no one will be the same

you could love your boyfriend
but not like your first love
you'll remember him forever
your angel from above

years from now you'll remember
you'll remember your first fight
you'll remember your first make-up kiss
and the way he held you tight

you'll remember your first present
the first time he kissed your lips
the first time he said i love you
and held onto your hips

you'll remember that he found you
and how he set you free
because a love like your first
it could neva be.

*gracias cherise*

you all know who thats about........

(~Light one up~)

[16 Apr 2005|11:47pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

Me, Amanda, Mary, Jessica, and chanel-the SCAC hoes...

Dj THINKS he a []D[][]v[][]D, haha-chanel, amanda, dj, me, and mary

Justin tryin to look like a pimp, except not(robert and justin on the way home from SCAC 04)

Aw, how sweeet. You would never guess how us gangstas roll...

Amanda lookin all G'd up...



MY skatepark bitches! DOGTOWN! venice locals only(and its in santa monica....takin over muhfuka!)



The gangsta, the killa an tha dopedeala!


 Thinkin bout afropuff......haha lisandro



(~Light one up~)

[16 Apr 2005|11:38pm]

beaner and rosa-VLG! MSC! thats a BIG nigga please...

No Trespassin my ass bitch!-The new skate park at PAL(looks flippin bomb homie!)

Ponchito did WHAT???!!!!!????

Dazed and Confused

Amanda-Do I smell chucks?

Chucks-Negro please! I be smellin like roses

DJ-Man this bitch stank!

(4smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Love hurts real bad [16 Mar 2005|12:06pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Detachment? FUCK detachment man thats ubserd, something that shouldnt be heard. God I should have never fallen in love. Falling in love is bliss-full and beautiful. Loosing someone you love has to be THE most painful thing you'll ever go through. I wish things could be the way they were. I feel sick everyday when i wake up. Whats worse is seeing the person you love smothered in others girls, and you know that should be you. This fuckin girl who says shes my friend was laying on him. I swear to god i felt someone fucking stabbing me. I couldnt even fuckin look at it. I know i should get over him but i cant. God it gives me chills just writing about it. There is NOTHING that can change the sick feeling I have. If I was to talk to him in person, now that things are the way they are, I would probably look like a tard and break down and cry in front of him. I'd rather run into the street, i was even thinking about it. I just feel really bad. I dont want to die cuz of him, but cuz of the way i feel.My mom is in the hospital because she tried to kill herself sunday. I love her and she offended me by basically saying I'm not worth her living for. THAT doesnt even compare how i feel about him. God i feel too deep in love. I cant get out its to hard.

Someone broke into my house last night. I was home with My stepmom and my dad is working all night in San Diego. I was getting ready for bed upstairs and genevieve was downstairs and we just got off the phone with my dad and he said he wouldnt be home till tomorrow. We heard someone open our side gate and come in our patio. It was a males voice, and i know all my dads homies from venice, it wasnet them. I know all my dads friends and it didnt sound like any of them. He started talking to my dog. Its been almost a year since it happened to me and i thought the sick mother fucker was coming back for round 2. He left and I was on the phone with my dad. He made me go to his closet and grab all his knifes and guns. I was shaking and crying and loading a 9mm. I fully loaded it and held it with both hands ready to blow a fuckers head off. Genevieves never shot a gun and my dads tought me since i was 5 so i had to have it, she had the knifes. OMG i wouldve rather pulled the trigger on myself then go through wat i went through last time. He came back again 20 minutes later and came back in our gate. My dad made me scream at the top of my lungs "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT, I HAVE A FUCKIN 9MM AND IM GONNA BLOW UR FUCKIN BRAINS OUT" while i was screaming and crying scared like no other. He made me run outside and point the gun to the gate. I KNEW it was the same guy who ripped me up and he was gonna do it again and i was fuckin ready now, ready to fuckin kill. i turned into soldier mode and was calm, too calm. Pissed off like a bitch and calm. Shit came outta me i didnt even know could. I was saying what i was gonna do to him when i found him. Man I felt like Don Corlean(however you spell his name) all gangsta and shit. Im not going home though. I cant. I almost brought the gun to school. I cant be alone. Its scary like a bitch. its under my pillow right now and fully loaded not leaving it. I dont even want to take the bus cuz im scared hes watching me. I fucking change my clothes in my bathroom. I need my super dooper paratrooper mean nasty kill-a-motha-fucka dad back cuz i wouldve been fine. ANYONE even if the rock tryed to break in, my dad would rip him apart with his bare hands. i miss my dad. I know if anyone trys to hurt me he would do anything to protect me and i love that feeling. i feel so safe with him and hes so protective over me. Thats the way he shows he loves me i guess. He was like screaming on the phone "FIND THE FUCKIN GUN, YOU WOULDA BEEN DEAD BY NOW, MOVE WITH A PURPOSE KID. CALM UNDER PRESSURE, KID, CALM UNDER PRESSURE, STAY ALERT STAY ALIVE. SUCK IT UP AND DRIVE ON.!!!" Thank god i have a sergent as a father and not some old fat white dude who sits on couches and who wouldnt no how to stay alive in these situations....

(4smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Damit Tina You fat piece of lard, come get your food! [28 Jan 2005|11:00pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Im not exactly sure what to write about, but i havent updated in a while so what the flip. Life is good, i hung out with some friends tonite and i solved some MAJOR problems. Im at my best friend Mary's house. I just realized ow great of a friend she has been to me the past 10 years. That trips me out, you REALLY only need 1 good friend and your set.... My friends mom called me today and we talked about danny. I kinda miss hanging out with him, but im SOOOOO much happier now that hes getting help. Well here are some shout outs, in case you read my livejournal which is a pointless piece of ass but ay!
Mary Elizabeth Graf- Youve been my best friend since i was 5 and you're like the closest thing to a sister i have. You truly know me more than i know myself and i love you for that. All those camping trips, katey peeing in our sleeping bags, new years eve, betty booty(haha...good times).I love you!
Justin Taylor Johnson(aka JT/gunit, haha)-Ive known you my whole life and you always correct my flippin craziness. You're the only friend ive had my whole life and thats awesome, Remember our plan to have that house with 2 pools, haha things have changed but you'll still always be my best friend. Anyone that breaks your heart, i can promise you I'll break they face! Shoo!I love you!
Dj(aka papi chulo/ordo...shiiiitte)-I can talk to you for hours and just feel ok, whenever im having a moment, you're there and u listen to my shit, even though i no u dont always want to. Your like the coolest person i know and im not just talkin about the "cool" term, but everything about you. The fact that your there and i know it just makes me feel good, and im sry about you know what our not going to the store for a while(remember john and tuesday and not on my bag)but eventually we can go back when im not banned from the store and im ready to face the manager.....HAHA. Well I love you sooo much and thanx for putting up with me.

Everyone else(perla, etc.) i see you enough and u know how i feel about u and i love you all.
DUUUUUUUUDE drivers ed tuesday....so not ready! And im going to disneylandia over spring break so tell me if u wanna come and for sure you can!Peace, love, and yea......werd.......

(3smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Im 3 days sober!!!!!!!!!!! [11 Nov 2004|12:09pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

One Day can change your life
One little mistake
Someone forgot to lock the door
He came in
She was listening
He absorbed her happiness
with a piece of cloth over her face
He came up from behind her
She was defenseless
Smacked in the face by a perpitrator
A viloator
A son-of-a-bitch
Fucked her up when he went inside
Melted her
Ripped her up
destroyed her
all the pain
wanting to die
screaming inside
the feelings were trapped inside her
almost for a week
but after a while, the physical and emotional pain was too unbearable
crying herself to sleep every night didnt work
that bitch killed her
so why wasnt she dead
picture being stabbed in your gut
and keeping the knife there for the rest of your life
multiply that by 100
that not half the pain she feels
does the pain go away?
because he hasnt been caught
he consumed her everything
her life
gave her two things to live with
both fucked her up
the violaiton
and the disease
she'll never be the same
no normal relationships
its hard to have sex
memories shoot at her like an AK everytime she does something sexual
yes, hallucinations
everytime a guy makes a sexul comment
she gets tense
she hallucinates shit
could he have been the bitch
the asshole
the satanic whore
there are exceptions, very few
she clicked with one guy
she liked him
he liked her
and then he found out what she had wasnt a rumor
he was scared and confused
but he liked her
so he researched
still scared
still confused
still liked her
when the time came
she froze
tensed up
fucked it up
he says he understood
but he really never will
its too complicated the bitch was too powerful
scarred her for life
but she has to move on
she has to keep singing her song
cant do it alone though
her mom's crazy
her dad's a fuckin sergeant
family's a mess
who's gonna help her?
she cant trust many people
how does everyone know?
thats private
she has to live it again
the violation of her privacy
she wants to fuck up every bitch that talks shit
toothpick bitches and mushrooms
cant-it'll be taken care of though
who can she talk to?
she has faith in god
but he cant give advice
is he the only one she can trust?
this world is so fucked up
she cant get help at school
how can she?
everyone already talks about it
"hey did you hear about that slut nicole?"
"o yea didnt she fuck that one guy?"
"yea and didnt she blow these guys?"
yea that helps the healing process
she cant trust anyone
this world is fucked
she has so much to say
cant find the words
dont know how to say it
doesnt come out right
no one knows who the bitch is
coulda been a beaner, nigger, or cracker
who comes up with those words
such hate
life already sux
we dont need labels, fuck that
if she finds the bitch
o dam its on, muthafuckin bitch
shes gonna make him feel so much pain...fuck!
all the shit shes been through
she had to grow up real fast
faster than most kids her age
she wants to grind his bones with her hands
she wants to see the bastard burn slowly
watch the blood flow down his chest when she stabs him
detroy him
like he destroyed her
this bitch tripped her
but how is she gonna get up?
she needs help
but she doesnt know how to ask for it
or who to ask
who can she trust
shes gonna make it to heaven
shes going through hell
gotta push away the clouds and bring back the sunshine
bring back the tquila sunrise

(4smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Strawberry Fields Forever..... [20 Oct 2004|06:19pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

Would you...........Even if you dont have a livejournal, you can post shit btw

-Go out with me?
-Give me your number?
-Have sex with me?
-Let me kiss you?
-Kiss me?
-Love me?
-Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one?
-Let me take you out to dinner?
-Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
-take a shower with me?
+be my bf/gf?
+have a fling with me?
+buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
+take me home for the night?
+would you let me sleep in your bed?
+sing car kareoke with me?
+sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
+re-post this for me to answer your questions?
+let me give you a piggyback ride?
+come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?

Scroll down, i wrote that poem in second period today, i was kinda not sane though but thats how i feel now and thats how i felt then.

(5smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

[20 Oct 2004|02:25pm]
[ mood | high ]

Hey Peeps, in history class, were in the library and its fuckin tight as hell, lol jk class is gay.

fuck love
fuck boys
A first love is rememberable
The second is horrible
The third is worse
The fourth is a killer

My mom told me to never fall in love
I didnt listen
Love fucked me once
Why is love painful?
Why does love make you do crazy things?

People have told me not to fall in love
i didnt listen
love fucked me twice
Love is complicated
Why does shit stab you in the back
My heart aches like fuck
This isnt working
no one can tell me how to love
Its too hard

Dont tell me not to love you
Dont tell Im too young
Dont tell me i know shit about life

Because you dont either
You're still young too
You still have a lot to learn about

I used to think we could learn about love together
Well Fuck love
Fuck everything about love
fuck chocolate
Fuck flowers
Fuck cards
fuck gifts
Fuck hugs
Fuck kisses
Fuck sex
Fuck love

Right here right now, im turning into a hoe or a lesbians-eithers fine
Guys want one thing, theres no such thing as love, girls you need to get out of that thought
Give them what they want, or better what you want
Get something, whatever you want
Then go onto the next
Repeat the process
No love, no thoughts, just lust
Thats all they want, dont try to change them
instead go along with it

They tell you they love you
please dont listen
Your gonna get hurt
Your hearts gonna get ripped out
Its bullshit
They think with their dicks

Last nite I wanted to fuck people over
Make boys fall in love
Soft kisses, the way they like it
Hard core kisses, the way they like it
Being there when they say they need you
Make them think about me all the time
Stop calling
Stop caring
Stop talking to them
Ignore them
move on
Next guy

But then guys are too immature to have relationships
Whether they're 15 or 18.
They're so egotistical
That plan wouldnt work
So why not be a hoe?
Thats what they want inst it?
Fuck their brains out and dont call to see how thy're doing everyday
Blow their brains out and dont cling to them


Peace and war
that doesnt work
love brings me peace
better, lust only

lust only
FUCK love

(~Light one up~)

Song Im listening to right now, lol [13 Oct 2004|06:30pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Back In Black (1980)
SINGLE: You Shook Me All Night Long/Have A Drink On Me (1980)
SINGLE: You Shook Me All Night Long/You Shook Me All Night Long(live)-
She's Got Balls(live) (1986)
Who Made Who (1986)
LIVE (1992)
Private Parts Soundtrack (1997)
(Young, Young, Johnson)

She was a fast machine
She kept her motor clean
She was the best damn woman I had ever seen [...that I, ever seen]
She had the sightless eyes
Telling me no lies [telling me my own line]
Knockin' me out with those American thighs
Taking more than her share
Had me fighting for air
She told me to come but I was already there

'Cause the walls start shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -

Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me all night long

Working double time
On the seduction line
She was one of a kind, she's just mine all mine
She wanted no applause [Taking no applause]
Just another course
Made a meal out of me and came back for more
Had to cool me down
To take another round
Now I'm back in the ring to take another swing

'Cause the walls were shaking
The earth was quaking
My mind was aching
And we were making it and you -


And knocked me out and then you
Shook me all night long
You had me shakin' and you
Shook me all night long
Yeah you shook me
Well you took me

You reall took me and you
Shook me all night long
Ooooh you
Shook me all night long
Yeah, yeah, you
Shook me all night long

Your really took me and you
Yeah you shook me, yeah you shook me
All night long

Stairway To Heaven

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

(6smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Roll a J, then go tap a hoe [11 Oct 2004|05:47pm]
[ mood | high ]

Shout outs:
Amanda Robledo-I LOVE YOU!!!!Im so happy for you that Youve moved to a new house and that ur absolutely lovin it. Thats awesome that life is good, and we need to talk more. We havent seen eachother in like forever.
Justin Taylor Johnson- I LOVE U too lol. We need to hang out more, like outside of fuckin tuesday haha. O yea my bdays comin up hoe........
Perla Munoz- I LOVE U three!!!!!! Yea even though it seems like ever since danny youve been avoiding me, i still love u. Its like were growing apart tho, it sux, well i guess its cuz ur going through tough times. And just to let u no, i cant tell u wat to do(tatoo, drugs, etc.)But i can always be there for u and give u advice. So whenever u need me, ill be there.(jackson cinco)
Daniela Anais Dacosta- I love u four, ok thats gettin on MY nerves now. But yea i really do love u, we known eachother for like ever and it seems like i no u like the back of my hand. We need to go camping or sumthin(wow thats pretty ghetto, but u no were gansters like that daniela).I dont no, but i do no that u need to ansa yo damn fone playa!

Ok people, My name is Nicole France Arambula, and I have a problem, "HI NICOLE!" Basically, I get really depressed, and i either act like a bitch to people i love, or i get rid of my pain in a temporary way(drugs, alcohol, perscription drugs)And as of today, im not taking anymore vicadin or anything else that ive been taking. The moment i got home i was crying because ive just been able to REALLY admit my problem. I threw away my bottle of vicadin which had 76 pills in it(well it was like 3 bottles-dont ask me how i got it or why i didnt give it to u instead) I came to school EVERYDAY FUCKED UP like a virgin that just got fucked by a black man. And ive been talking to this one dude, lol, and everytime he asks me how im doing i always bitch, I can never tell him how great my day was. And that my friends, is sad. I need to stop this bullshit and i need to do it now. I love myself, and i need to stop fuckin up everything and everyone that i love. Life IS good, and i need to realize that, i just got a reality bitch slap last nite while i was HARD CORE PUNK ROCK trippin, haha. No but really, this isnt cool and im relived that i can admit it and move on. The only thing left is the will-power to not do it again and to continue my insanity trip-free life.

Im going crazy with this one situation, and i cant really say wat its about but im scared to tell my best friend because lately that person hasnt really been helping, just getting pissed off whenever i bring it up. So i decided to not get into deep convos with this person that much now because this person is moving on, and i need to accept that, i dont need any "yea this and that" from this person but i think that everything i tell this person goes in one ear and out the other like a muhfuckin fly, but u no wat, thats ok cuz its not my place to bitch and judge. I can only be there for this person and i cant tell this person wat to do. This person has their own problems to deal with, especially now and i cant keep bitching about life. From now on im just gonna tell this person how much i wanna be there for them and not complain about my huge love issue that im having which hurts really bad. But im sorry for all the "this persons" i just really only want the person to no who im talking about, and i think they do.
I had about the most amazing nite on saturday and i wish i could re-live it. It was with someone i really love and care for. It was like an acid trip without the after affects. Anyways pics from Maui are finally here, ask me if u want to see them- i obviously have nothing better to do lol, actually im in school and bored as hell but i should be doing work........

I love yall and my celly is still cut off so if u want to reach me-310-301-2524.
BTW im gonna make a remake "stairway to heaven"(led zeppelin)with my friend zoey, shes got connections and even if its just for us that cool, im gonna ask my friend if he wants to play guitar for it. HAHA some hard core metal band ,made a remake of "hells bells"-acdc- i was rollin like a fattty ass joint on the floor.
WAt song should i remake?
Any suggestions?

(7smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Rad diggaty [29 Sep 2004|07:15pm]
[ mood | en fuego ]

Well peeps, life is ok. I havent updated in a while because of personal problems and not being able to speak my mind after some things, but those things are all good now so I can continue to update. Someone i really care for is "flirting" and "hooking up" with this other person, and it makes me feel weird and uncomfortable because it just doesnt seem right. Well hopefully this person and i can talk things out because i really really truly care for this beyotch and i think about it all the time now. Anyways people. I have gone through many things in the past 14 years. When i was 10 my mom put me on ridalin, prozac, and wellbutrin because she felt i had all these problems and then she locked me up in a looney bin. My dad ended up gaining custody of me after that at the age of 10, after having connected with my crazy but lovable mother. I had a stronge bond with her and i was ripped away from that in one split second. I was at my grandparents house and my dad came and picked me up and told me "Ur living with me for now on, kid" And i cryed like a bitch. Whats worse, i had to then go to an alcoholics anonymus meeting(wednesday nite-the biggest meeting of the week)and i grew up with all these people so they all asked me wat was wrong, and of course i lied. When im hurt or upset, i have been taught by my father to "shut the fuck up, take my head out of my ass, stop being an asshole or dumbass bitch" So i tend to keep my emotions bottled up, this my friend is a horrible problem to have. If you are someone i trust to open my feelings to, u should feel lucky cuz i cant even talk to my own parents. Thats just one thing that happened in my crazy life. But you know something, i sat and realized that everyone has problems-and that instead of bitching about them my whole life i should go out there and help other people-but most importantly myself. I used to be sucked into the whole drama shit because i felt that was all my life was filled with. Then i met people who changed my life. I joined alateen-which is almost the best thing that has happened to me in this past year. We all have conflicts with eachother, but those are the people that u develop friendships with for life. So many people have taught me about life and how i need to "get my head out of my ass" and stop thinking life is one big fairy tale. Also that im not the only one with an outrageously crazy cracked out mother, and that i can joke about it now.... These two girls almost got into a fight on tuesday and i was talking about it with my roomate melissa(who i tell everything to and her and i have the most awesome talks)and she told me "Everyone in that room has a crazy fucked up alcoholic parent, everyone in that room is just as crazy and fucked up as each person sitting next to eachother." thats so true, maybe thats y i can confide in those people and not worry about wat shit will be told-like fucking samohi. Theres so much bullshit drama "A hell na beyotch, i no u did not roll up to samo wit ma chucks" And "UUUUU guuuurl, ima bout ta bus a cap on ya ass"(for accidentaly bumping into the bitch in the hallway). Like "O damn ima get ma homies to kick ur ass for cutting me in line, or for bumping into me, or for taking to long to use the muhfuckin bathroom"DAMN!!!!!!DRAAAAAAMA!!!I hate samo, i hate that shit, just a bunch of little kids tryin to act hard to hide who they really are and wat they really feel.

(4smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

My second test of the same one(updated) [08 Sep 2004|06:17pm]
The \\
Last Cigarette:July 11th
Last Alcoholic Drink:Sunday
Last Car Ride:Last nite
Last Kiss:monday-u no who u r lol
Last Good Cry:monday
Last Library Book:"tell me lies"-jennifer crusie
Last book bought:above
Last Book Read:above
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:white chix
Last Movie Rented:casablanca
Last Cuss Word Uttered:clit?haha jk, fuck
Last Beverage Drank:diet coke
Last Food Consumed:tomatoe
Last Crush:still on it-u no who u are and i think mushroom too
Last Phone Call:pinky perla
Last TV Show Watched:DEGRASSI~
Last Time Showered:Last nite
Last Shoes Worn:Pink and black checkerd custom made converse
Last CD Played:ACDC-Back in black babay!
Last Item Bought:A diet coke
Last Download:aim
Last Annoyance:mushroom
Last Disappointment:andrew
Last Thing Written:shit!
Last Key Used:!
Last Words Spoken:fuck dude, this shits annoying as hell, i needa vicadin!
Last Sleep:3am to 630
Last Ice Cream Eaten:an hour ago-sugarless "endulge" bar(dove bar)
Last Chair Sat In:computadora chair
Last Webpage Visited:www.suckmydick.com


BTW, my REAL journal entry is down below.

(2smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

DUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! [08 Sep 2004|05:54pm]
[ mood | in love ]

I went to Kihei, Maui with my grandparents and stayed in my cousins awesome fuckin house. Well it was really boring, i just kinda swam everyday and shopped with my grandma, I got a rad ass tshirt though-its "the doors" with the love of my life(whose dead) on the front. Well like the 3rd to last day i met these 2 guys; Cam and bernie. Godamn if i only met them like 5 days before my trip woulda been perfect. We went to outback steakhouse and chilled on the beach, and in the van(haha) and then we went back adn swam at my cuz's house. The next day i really badly wanted to surf-like no other mother- so i was gonna go with Bernie but my fucking grandparents wouldnt let me. So we ended up going to cheeseburger in paradise that nite and bernie payed for it which was REALLY sweet. The bill was like 50$. And then he came the next day to get his sandals and we hung out and yea...... Well They're totally awesome and i fucking wish they went to samo. For those of u who no shane, he looks EXACTLY like him and acts like him, its just weird my friend.I wanna car so i can drive down to San Diego and chill with them, neways.....

SAMOHI!!!!! My gansta gangsta school....
It started today and i got literally 113 numbers because i saw all my old friends and met new ones and i talked to like all of them and called them in class, my teachers are mostly awesome. The surf gang now goes to samo, shane sam sonny and andrew. Andrew came up to us today adn was like " i have no friends" and i felt really bad so we helpd him find shane, even tho me and shane hate eachother. Andrews hair got long and he looks like a super cool surf cat, same with sam, who i confused with his twin bro simon,
BTW!Sam is gonna b in the "lords of dogtown" movie thats comin out! Yea go sam! i think hes gonna skate. neways i feel so happy cuz i missed all my buddys but i feel bad cuz andrew doesnt have friends at samo, hes from palms. HELP HIS SKINNY LIL SURF TAN, SUN BLEACHED, AWESOME ASS OUT AND TALK TO HIM! wow that might make him feel bad but o well, he nos i love him. Yea and i think i really like someone, more than a friend and i no i have for a while now and just admitted it to perla but i dont no-confusion. I like him in a weird way, actually 2 ppl. W/e I love yall and call my new celly!@!!!!!!!!!


Peace and love ma broda!!!!Peace and love.......

(15smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

The girl at the rock show....or guy...... [07 Aug 2004|02:24pm]
Ok im sorry that i havent updated for a while but here it goes....

Yesterday i went to pick up joe at santa monica high and then we went and kicked it around my house for like 4 hours. Then we waited for the infamous Djizzzzzle to get to my house-he had to take 5 muhfuckin buses my friend. Then when he got here perla, jo, djizzle and i took the bus to holly dillon's house(i think it was her house) and we saw two bands play. I kept calling it a concert like a dumbass but watever. It was a show btw.....The bands that played were fukin awesome!!!!! There was "dying 4 juliet" and "exposition". Now, you know i went there to support miguel's band(expoistion) Which totally rocked my sox but i was disappointed cuz he didnt do an 80's dance that he promised he would. Well then we went to the promenade and i saw; eric nash, sam e, brit, jas, jh, alex, memo, alex, and a whole bunch of other totally awesome peeps. But then some shit went down and i needed to get out of there. So after perla and i danced like mad cows in the promenade streets and after we at mc d's we ended up leaving beacuse there was too much shit and none of us needed it, samohi drama......I was supposed to go to disneyland today with my mom and erin otto but then she fuckin called adn flaked on me which totally sux. Ill try to update more but for now, peace and love ma broda.

BTW Love is strange and unusual, but at the same time beautiful. How that works out, i may never know.......

(13smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

In nebraska!!!!! [18 Jul 2004|05:23pm]
HEY YALL!!!!Well Im in nebraska, second day and we still havent eaten in this house. Pics from jojos bday party, venice beach, and SCAC just came and i put some in frames and others in some albums. Maybe i can post some. Well neways i gotta go but if u wanna talk call me. 402-879-3617. peace and love-cant wait to see u guys again!

The \\
Last Cigarette:July 11th
Last Alcoholic Drink:March
Last Car Ride: an hour ago
Last Kiss:thursday
Last Good Cry:July 10th
Last Library Book:The Truth About the American Pitbull
Last book bought:Playboy magazine, hehe
Last Book Read:The Truth about the american pitbull
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:white chix
Last Movie Rented:finding nemo
Last Cuss Word Uttered:f-werd
Last Beverage Drank:fruit punch flavored koolaid
Last Food Consumed:calamari, shrimp tempura
Last Crush:still on it-dj
Last Phone Call:mary graf, fucking sucked
Last TV Show Watched:in flight nbc thingy
Last Time Showered:yesterday morning
Last Shoes Worn:black slip-on vans
Last CD Played:bob marley and the wailers-greatest hits
Last Item Bought:photoalbum!
Last Download:aim
Last Annoyance:mary
Last Disappointment:mary
Last Soda Drank:pepsi
Last Thing Written:cant say, private(was in my journal)
Last Key Used:)
Last Words Spoken:"godamit"-when the phone rang
Last Sleep:4am-12pm
Last Ice Cream Eaten:homemade, an hour ago-VANILLA
Last Chair Sat In:sitting in a big black comfy leather computer chair
Last Webpage Visited:livejournal.com

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(34smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Bounce that ass bitch! [08 Jul 2004|02:32pm]
Woohoo!!!I just took a quiz to find out if I'm depressed and I found out that Im not!!!!

you have... no depression!

What type of Depression do you have? (MANY different outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla

I guess Im not that depressed then, its all in my blonde ass head.
~common common common now touch me baby.......~

peace and love ma broda....

(4smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

Why is love so complicated? [08 Jul 2004|11:13am]
I think I need to start writing some poems. I can never figure out why I love people no matter what. Someone can kick me and punch me and say the most hateful things, but i would still love them. Maybe thats the definition of "unconditional love" but how does it work? Im usually such a happy camper but now im just all low and shit. I feel like im not pretty, and that im a bitch, and ill never have a normal mom and never have a normal life. My life has been fucked in the ass sooooo many times(most likely from a big black man-cuz this life hurts)Well, at least I still have SOME humor. I miss you all and I cant wait to see you, which is probably gonna be on registration day(for those of u who go to samo)

Emancipate your selves from mental slavery
None but yourselves can free our minds-bob marley

I dedicate that song to the love of my life-daniela dacosta!!DONT LEAVE!!!Well actualy Im leaving so.....well im such a dumb blonde.

I just relized how much i just bitched about life and i didnt even relize how good life really is. At least im not some starving african child.
peace and love ma broda.......

(8smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

My summer [07 Jul 2004|10:53am]
Just to let you know wats happenin(besides me-tee hee)
July 9-11 im in Redlands, CA.
July 12-17 im in Columbus, Ohio.(my grandfathers writing conference)
July 18-28 im in Superior, Nebraska(thats where my grandparents live)

August 1-17 im in Costa Rica(omg i so fuckin excited its gonna be awesome-its gonna be me and my dad only and we are gonna bring one backpack and we are gonna surf all day and decorate our new house during the night time-which is my job)
August 18-24 JAMAICA BABAY!!!!! we are thinking about buying a little house cuz my dad heard the surf was good at montego bay(which its not ive been there at least 10 times in my life and its not that great but shiiiitttte im not telling him that, i wanna a jamaican house babay!)
August 26-September 6th-MAUI!!!!!!No no im not entering the surf competition which was the original only way my dad would let me go, lol.

September 8th-back to school EWWWWWWW!!!!COODIES!!!

(5smoked a joint | ~Light one up~)

WOWW [07 Jul 2004|10:50am]
Im having such a great life right now, despite the following. My mom left me, my step mom left me, my dad cut my phone line, and my cable and i have been cleaning and cooking like CRAZZZZAY!!!But its actually been kinda cool(oddly enough) Well 4th of july wasnt that eventful except i went to universal studios-woohoo!!Well I really like this guy like alot and i found out that he likes me too, which is totally awesome-and im spending the ENTIRE weekend with him and a bunch of friends in Redlands, CA and its gonna be awesome.

Have to get this out tho, its a moment im having-

Im really depressed because my mom is in and out of mental hospitals and its partly because she lost 2 children from abortions and also because she feels like shes a failure of being a mother. I almost went crazy about 2 nights ago because I can't live with the fact that A)shes crazy B)shes addicted to pain killers and C)ill NEVER have a normal mother. On top of that my fathers a sergent and its like boot camp where i live-where are u going and with who, for how long, who are u on the phone with, no dating till ur 21 and ill kill any fucker who calls here. Its like an insane life. I see all these gurls going to get "manicures" and "pedicures" with their moms and that will never happen for me. All I'll get is a "lets shave ur head, kid" or "want a new pair of steel toes?" or "lets go enter u in a surf contest cuz i feel like ur a great surfer and u should go out there and try new things. Sometimes i feel like my dad thinks im a guy. My dad and i have "play fist fights" like we will literally punch eachother till we hurt eachother while laughing at the same time. I just want to go live in a little shack, on the beach, in Jamaica, with ALL my friends near me!!pls come!!!
I love you all and sorry therre was so much but i had to get it out.
::**peace and love ma broda**::

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